5 STRATEGIES FOR HAVING A PEACEFUL MARRIAGE AFTER KIDS
Marriage can be a beautiful partnership where you can share all life's exciting moments with someone so close it’s like you’re finishing each other’s sentences. Then you introduce a kiddo or two, and that clear picture of your wedded bliss takes on new shapes and meanings.
Between changing diapers, preparing lunches for school, and trying to figure out how to help with homework, you need to ensure you and your partner are giving each other the support and time to keep your marriage flourishing.
If you’re unsure how to get started with a happy marriage after kids, here are some solid strategies to help you out.
1. Get Good at Identifying Your Needs
A peaceful marriage begins with knowing what you need. If you’ve ever flown, you probably remember those boring instructional safety briefings where the flight attendant tells you to put your mask on first before assisting anyone else. Your marriage should operate in much the same way.
Begin by identifying the needs you have that bring you peace. Simple things like having 30 minutes every day to walk through your garden or the chance to sit down and discuss emotions with your loved one go a long way to keeping you balanced. The more at ease you feel, the better you can help your partner and kids with their needs.
2. Communicate Needs to Your Partner
Now that you know your needs better, it’s time to communicate those to your partner. Marriage strategies don’t have to be complex. Simply communicating what you need to feel more supported gets you far more reward than wishing they could just “know” how you are feeling.
We operate on different wavelengths. Emotional overwhelm, mental fatigue, and physical exhaustion are different for each of us. Help yourself and your partner by saying how you’re feeling out loud and clearly asking for what you need to feel better.
Asking for help may be vulnerable, but it is crucial to a happy marriage. While you’re at it, don’t forget to listen to your partner when they communicate in return. This should be a two-way street and without shame.
3. Schedule Kid Free Connection Time
Kids are lovely little bundles of joy, right? Sure, but that doesn’t mean you should constantly be covered in half-eaten snacks trying to figure out if putting Bluey on TV is good or bad for their mental health.
Your happy marriage needs a little space away from the children. Even if it’s just 5 minutes of one-on-one time after school drop off before you go to work, that should be actively protected. These small moments offer a connection that can foster and protect the intimacy between the two of you. Remember, you started this marriage for a reason. Why not give each other time to revisit that reason for a few minutes daily?
4. Discuss and Fairly Divide Household Tasks
Running a household takes work. Life after kids makes those daily tasks a bit more complex. Now you’re cooking for 3, 4, or even 7 mouths instead of breakfast in bed for just the two of you.
It's time to get out a piece of paper and pencil and discuss household tasks. Be fair and open about dividing daily responsibilities so neither of you feels resentful about who is doing laundry and which partner is stuck with the never-ending dirty dishes.
Finding balance is a massive marriage strategy. Teamwork ensures you feel supported and fair in your complex life. Or, if you’re looking for an easy reminder, Teamwork makes the dream work!
5. Give Each Other Time for Self-Care
Yes, your happy marriage requires time for one another. However, you also need a little time for some self-care. Being able to sneak away for 15 minutes of quiet time with a cup of tea or enjoy a daily run away from the responsibilities of kids and home feels terrific.
You want to reduce the stress around you and your relationship. Even an extremely happy marriage can feel weighed down by too much pressure or stress from life. Make sure you have time for yourself to get some clarity and peace. Even better, when your partner gifts you some free time, show gratitude and enjoy every single minute you get.
Final Thoughts
Infusing marriage strategies into your lives can do a lot to boost how you feel about yourself, your partner, and your future prospects. Utilizing these strategies ensures you are proactively protecting the health and well-being of something you value so much.
Kids don’t have to be a significant toll on a marriage, but you need to put in a little work to implement ideas and boundaries that make it clear to you and everyone else you value your marriage.
Stop feeling triggered by your kiddos. Book a free consultation with our team at Thriving California Therapy Group. We love helping families, couples, and individuals create strategies for a better, happier life. Your marriage deserves support. Give us a call today, and let’s discuss how to integrate these strategies and more into your daily life.
